Suicide Squad Introduces Fall Fashion to Summer

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As of this writing, Suicide Squad, the potential ground-breaking trip down the DC Comics Cinematic Universe rabbit hole, sits at a whopping 26% among critics on Rotten TomatoesBut this flick is so fucking hardcore, they’re not going to let a little issue like being absolutely awful spoil their fun–no, sir.

Imagine a Skrillex music video played at 1.5x speed, combined with a suburban improv troupe’s interpretation of what the thug-life is, combined with HOT TOPIC‘s Summer line, and you’ve got your review of Suicide Squad. But fuck it, why use your imagination when one video sums it all up?

HOT TOPIC made a bold statement this season. Not only by crossing over their “Barely Qualifies as Cult Cinema” line with their “Please Snicker and Comment Under Your Breath at My Appearance on the Train” line, but by (according to their site) making “plus-sized” orders “ONLINE ONLY”.

Not only does this cut out a “plus-sized” portion of the HOT TOPIC clientele, but also makes their gender-specific plus-sized model campaign effectively moot to anyone with enough body-positivity to exit their home.

The campaign seems to be working, however, as both 2X and 3X sizes of their now-discounted JOKER JACKET are now SOLD OUT.

It only stands to reason, now, that within 2 to 4 weeks, we will be absolutely abreast with 400 to 500 pound Jared Leto Jokers sloshing around in fake purple leather like Biker Daddy Barney the Dinosaurs…which is a shame, because if you assume that they’ve also seen the Suicide Squad film, you’d expect they’ve suffered enough.

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