Friday Goob News! 9/9/16

TOMMYNC2010

Tommy has outdone himself this time. This 90-minute extravaganza opens up with the final reveal! It’s genius. Like a Quentin Tarantino flick, Tommy bounces around, saying “fuck you” to a time-line, consistency, or anything remotely coherent. But one thing’s for sure–you won’t be able to look away. Tommy Finton came to popularity via MTV’s MADE, and Comedy Central’s Tosh.0 sent him into the stratosphere. He’s one of YouTube‘s most popular goobers. And before you try to assemble your social justice warrior forces, yes, I know he’s autistic–and that’s what makes it so wonderful. But that’s not the only thing–it’s the mistakes, the editing cues with no editing, and the constant sweaty nervousness at every turn. It’s real. Tommy is real. And that’s why we love him.

Continuing on the Tommy Train, we’ve got this:

In this sociopathic experiment, Tommy, on the heels of of forcing his friend to down an entire bowl of spicy ramen, is now forcing his dear pal to binge-eat BAKED BEANS. Tommy, obviously scarfing down beans like it’s his job, verbally accosts his companion for using foul language on his channel, and becomes visibly upset when his friend makes jokes at his expense. Only the sunglasses can shield us from the true autistic rage of Tommy…

TheReportoftheWeek

John, AKA Review Brah, AKA TheReportoftheWeek, is a consisent staple of easily-accessible food reviews. If you haven’t seen his allegedly Asperger’s-driven fast food critiques, do yourself a favor and examine his entire, seemingly limitless, back catalog. This week’s crowning achievement has been the KFC (or as he calls them “KFS”–for Kentucky Fried SHIT!!!!!Chicken Littles, a dinky excuse for a chicken sandwich that earns his vicious ire. It must be made crystal clear that Review Brah’s “Grading Scale” puts a 7.0 as “average” and he “doesn’t give 10’s”…so his gradient score is absolutely anyone’s guess. What makes this video specifically amazing is his hatred for KFC, and his abnormally low score for this sub-par sandwich. Here at Sailor Twift, we’re still awaiting the day when he makes a mess on one of his over-sized corpse-suits and throws an autistic FIT.

JXCstudios

In conclusion to our first ever Goob News, we bring you the latest from young budding film maker, John Xavier Cassese, AKA JXC. It fills me with such heartfelt sorrow that you can’t relive what I’ve experienced, which is 70+ episodes of Captain N: The Next Generation, a Nintendo and Funamation-based web series JXC had on his channel. I’d imagine that the cease and desists from Nintendo and Funamation spooked him enough to take them down. Which is the biggest of goddamn shames. Because that series was fan-fucking-tastic. Here you’ll see his new evolution, using practical cinematography and effects magic to accomplish one of the most incredible action scenes I’ve ever seen. It’s not often you get to see a chubby and somewhat-functionally disabled action star. Here, you get TWO. If you need more, he’s got plenty of content on his channel to tide you over. If you really want to experience John on a deep and bothersome level, click here (fair warning).

That’s all the NEWS we got for you this week! Join us every Friday for more Goob News, and SUBSCRIBE to the TALKING NERDY podcast to hear us talk about our favorites!

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