Heavy Handed Heroes & Don King

With 7 weeks left until Election Day, we’re in the doubling-down zone for political theater. I don’t care who anyone votes for because none of the current nominees seem likely to accomplish anything that I deem personally favorable, or ethically righteous. Putting the 3rd Parties aside–no, voting for a 3rd party is not throwing your vote away, nor is it “giving a vote” to the other candidate–because, they do remain statistically irrelevant; both Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are a stalemate. Both operate on pure gut-feelings, but have the same policies, give or take a few minor tweaks. Both would effectively accomplish the same goals, that is to say, they would both effectively accomplish nothing. BUT that’s not going to stop the fear-and-oppression Olympics from entering their opening ceremonies.

Enter Joss Whedon. We’ve all seen independent political ads before, but this election cycle has been a fucking joke. From the Fuck You, Donald Trump! I’m Mexican! ads to this super heavy-handed gesture aimed at man-children who need Iron Man to tell them who to vote for.

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You remember Joss Whedon; the guy who organized the Marvel Cinematic Universe, created amazing and brilliant television series, and threw a tantrum and quit Twitter because cunt-clenching new-wave feminists decided they didn’t like Black Widow‘s story arc and needed to take it out on him.

Now we have an ad that starts out encouraging people to “get out and vote” like all these ads do–even though it’s crystal clear who they want you to vote for. But Joss Whedon goes for the throat, making this ad explicitly against Trump, while saying absolutely nothing about why one should vote for Clinton. We’re treated with everything from a hyperbolic Don Cheadle to Ashley Johnson from fucking Growing Pains literally crying.

Joss Whedon, in an interview with BuzzFeed of all places,  said he was “Doing a voting PSA to help get out the vote and stop orange Muppet Hitler.” Because that’s something an adult says.

Hate Trump all you want, guys. Go crazy (if you aren’t already). But don’t hate Trump and then call to “end hate.” Don’t spread lies just to bolster your anti-Trump sentiment, argue against his actual policy. But I guess it’s easier to call someone a racist and say things like: his catchphrase was you’re fired, so he’s gonna fire nukes at all of our enemies. Nice try, guys. Mark Ruffalo spent the last 8 Obama years fighting fracking with no success. But Clinton is gonna change the game?

1.gifYou think America is such a deplorable and racist country that we should “kneel-out” the National Anthem; but President Grandma is going to repair the hurt feelings of 8 years of President Chocolate Jesus?

But let’s get real. There’s only really one reason to like Donald Trump; and that’s the fact that he’s a symbol of nemesis to all of the social justice pearl-clutching bullshit that’s plagued our otherwise almost entirely unified culture for the last better-part-of-a-decade.

The Clinton campaign and, more specifically, the Anti-Trump Campaign, are fighting wars against Pepe the Frog and Don King…both arbitrary trolls, and both–cartoon characters…while Trump shifts his culture war campaign into an actual campaign. Twitter is actually erupting because Don King (that old black boxing promoter who probably killed a guy, and worse) said “niggas” at a Trump rally. God forbid.

We all know that no Joss Whedon ad is going be the last straw that makes people realize they don’t like Trump. Hating Trump is so ubiquitous in our celebrity-obsessed pop culture zeitgeist that supporting him has become almost punk. But, rest assured, hating Hillary never goes out of style. Even Trump’s most vociferous enemies can’t bring themselves to throw a ticker-tape parade for Hillary “Maybe You’d Like to Get Inside the Oven to Clean It” Clinton.

We’re all egotistic and nationalistic at times. That’s why we love our American Super Heroes. But don’t let them tell you who to vote for. Especially if it’s just who not to vote for. Wait, scratch that…

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