I Watched ‘Kevin Can Wait’ and I Want My Money Back

giphy-7Yeah, I know it’s free, but c’mon Kevin James, what the fuck are you doing? You could at least spot me $5 for sitting through that pilot episode.

GOOD GRIEF it’s BRUTAL!!

First, the opening theme is simple with a little jingle and a “I am not your ordinary guy!” It’s like his eyes are getting weary, back is getting tight, I’m sitting here watching garbage because I hate myself tonight.

whyHe’s a blue collar stiff with a big personality again!  A retired cop and he and his cop buddies are all going to drink beer all day, the dream. He certainly isn’t an ordinary guy!

Wait! He has kids! Two younger ones and a daughter in college who is willing to drop out to support her nerdy British surprise fiancé, Chale….yes, Chale. Great thing he has a guest house above his garage. Let the Shenanigans begin!

Kevin James is still suffering from fat guy problems like eating all the cheeseburgers and being unsatisfied by buffets lacking in beef product.

giphy-8Seriously Mr. James, your bro Gary Valentine is going to be the butt of all jokes again, can’t wait for Patton Oswalt’s cameo!

Seriously, fuck my life, I want my money back. I’m lowering my offer to $2! Your move, Kevin James.

Kevin Can Wait airs Mondays at 8:30 on CBS.

Z

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