Comedy, Irrationality, Music, News

The Death of Kim Kardashian

auto2Before you jump to conclusions and we have another death hoax of Kel Mitchell proportions on our hands; no, Kim Kardashian is very much alive. But she was, according to her spokespersons, tied up and robbed at gunpoint by individuals in Paris dressed as police. Details are slowly developing; however, here’s what we “know”…

Kim was attacked in her Paris hotel room and robbed of almost $11M worth of jewelry when “masked gunmen” dressed as French police stormed the room. Reports say that she was not physically harmed, but she is understandably shaken up.

During the event, Mr. Kardashian (read: Kanye West) was performing a concert in NYC, which he abruptly halted in the middle of Heartless, telling the audience that there was a family emergency and he had to go.

The bigger story, however, is how you precious little snowflakes are responding to the attack.

auto3It’s no secret that The Kardashian media empire has created a cynicism in a majority of the population; a cynicism that crosses the border into completely unfounded hatred for an entire group of young women (and older woman, and older woman who used to be a man).

While celebrities come to Kim Kardashian’s defense and support during this scary time for her family, the little people seem to be coming about it from a different perspective; glorifying the attack and practically foaming at the mouth for a good celebrity death story.

First, we have to remember that this elaborate style of attack doesn’t typically happen to “regular people.” Armed gunmen wouldn’t go through the trouble and scheming to pull of a heist unless the reward was high, and what reward is higher than a celebrity diamond cache?

This isn’t Taken. No international ring of thugs are going to snatch up a former CIA agent’s daughter just for sport, and no one is busting down Kim Kardashian’s door without knowing full well who they’re bursting in on.

But your sick hatred for this family, who has done effectively no damage to the world other than to provide millions with free entertainment has blossomed into a world where pseudo-progressives feel they’re justified in treating the entire Kardashian clan like utter shit because they’re wealthy and (mostly) attractive.

2That’s not to discount the many, many tweets that repeat ad nausaem that “no matter how you feel about Kim Kardashian, she’s a wife and mother and human being” yada yada yada in one form or another. It’s a fine sentiment to have,  but part of it rings severely problematic. The “no matter how you feel” or “even if you hate Kim Kardashian…” is an apologist method of putting aside that anyone is justified in hating Kim Kardashian. You don’t have to like her or watch her show, but to actively feel any emotion toward a complete stranger–celebrity or not–is fucking weird! No matter how petty or divisive her public persona comes off, it shouldn’t bug you.

I’m not here to say poor, poor Kim Kardashian. She’s resilient and well-off. What was a frightening experience for her and her family will only make her stronger in the long run.

No, I feel bad for you–the youth of social media–and those of you who feel the opinions of these young people are worthy of anything more than an eye-roll and a “who the fuck cares what you think?”

Kim Kardashian is fortunate. You guys have to live with yourselves forever.


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