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How to Fight for Animal Rights & Not Get Laid

For reasons that shouldn’t be a total mystery, activism is sexy. Whether you’re a left wing radical building a pipe bomb to protest war; or an Islamist radical building a bomb out of a pressure cooker to protest a marathon, you’ll likely find some naive young dropout or human sexuality major to press your pickle.

But what happens when you’ve cucked and castrated yourself into such a bizarrely unfuckable position that you’re literally holding funerals for grocery store poultry?

This is where we’ll meet our good friends at Direct Action Everywhere (DxE), founded in 2013 at Berkeley, California–but that should go without saying. The group, like the terrorist Animal Liberation Front, whose group acronym sounds more like an 80’s cat-eating TV alien than a bomb-building amoral hate group, fight towards that illogical and inscrutable goals of total animal liberation, and a law requiring “species equality.”

If you’re curious about the rationale behind any of this virtue-signalling nonsense, you need only look on the surface to see both bitter young women who have been encouraged or permitted to live their entire lives without ever being questioned or rebuked; and seething castrati desperately clutching pre-wrapped poultry like the fleshy remains of their now-empty scrotes in a neighborhood Whole Foods.

Whole Foods, for christsake–a self-righteous delusion tirelessly masquerading as a grocery store, specifically orchestrated appease and fill these Useful Idiots with self-congratulatory vibes.

Now, it may seem like harmless far-left austism on the surface–holding funerals for meat products and protesting Thanksgiving Parades in an effort to end the “turkey holocaust.” But these individuals are more dangerous than they are cucked (scary).

Like many other “freedom fighter”-style activists, they’ve conditioned themselves to believe that they are fighting true evil…a twisted combination of slavery, genocide, and cannibalism all under the guise of a well-balanced diet.

Unfortunately, our only course of action against this psychosis is humor and humiliation. But these sycophantic sexless zealots seem to be handling that quite well on their own.


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