Your Russian Hacker Theory Sucks

While it’s ultimately refreshing to have individuals who have a seemingly limitless history of being categorically wrong about every major issue involving race, gender, sociology, and economics suddenly get super-into international politics instead, one does not simply become magically red-pilled when one’s political nemesis becomes God Emperor.

In this latest and transparently bogus attempt to (at best) corrupt the steadily growing confidence Americans have in their new leader and the democratic election process as a whole, or (at worst) fan the flames of unrest to the point of victory resulting in anything from Civil to Nuclear War; Democrats have put all their eggs in a basket labeled “C.I.A.”

While this attempt falls in a long line of election-period fuckery, utilizing the power of political the federal government and media bias to destroy the public perception, this is likely not the most egregious example…just the latest and most desperate.

May I remind you that–in no particular order–the U.S. Media working objectively in tandem with the U.S. Government:

2-Repeatedly mocked the metaphysical certitude that Donald Trump could win a nomination, let alone a Presidential Election.

-Utilized the anger and frustration of contemporary protest groups like Black Lives Matter to increase the perceived danger and violence of Bernie Sanders’ supporters.

-Denied the possibility of the existence of any form of voter fraud, lost the election, then investigated the election for voter fraud, and then lost the election again.

-Undermined the democratic system by protesting, demanding an unsuccessful and ultimately counter-productive recount effort costing delusional donors over $7M, threatening electors, sponsoring rogue electors through media-backed PR Firms, and convinced the public that overturning an election would not lead to civil unrest.

-Convinced a populous desperate for information about the individuals they were voting for that Hillary Clinton was innocent of all wrong-doing, that Gary Johnson and Jill Stein were uneducated and dangerously unqualified, that Donald Trump was not just a white supremacist sympathizer, but literally Hitler reincarnate, and that all of your favorite celebrities (and superheroes) needed you to vote for Hillary Clinton…or gays would be executed, immigrants deported, and the world would be destroyed in a completely preventable climate disaster.

-Propagated a false narrative that the real issue behind the failure of Clinton to win out was an explosion of “fake news” which, ironically, was only prevalent on conservative websites.

Now, the federal government, who have been keeping American in the dark about weapons of war, drugs being pushed into inner cities, comprehensive spying programs, and god knows what else…have decided that a completely inconclusive and universally debunked and denied hypothesis about Russian Hackers aiding in Donald Trump is now a verified part of the narrative, despite there being as much evidence to support the claim as there is evidence that Paul Krugman, Op-Ed CuckLord for The New York Times, is a syphilitic hermaphrodite.

The basic premise this idiotic theory is that it was Russian Operatives , and not a whistle-blower from within the Democratic National Committee, who leaked thousands of (mostly innocuous) emails from the office of Clinton campaign chairperson John Podesta…and therefore interfered with the Presidential Election…despite the fact that Hillary won the popular vote while CNN convinced people that it was illegal for them to read the leaked documents.

So, only one of two things can be true: either the Russians invaded and interfered with an American election in such a half-assed way that they would have failed miserably had it not been for Trump’s political ingenuity along with the expert management of Kellyanne Conway…or…

Hillary Clinton represents one of the most physically and mentally incapable politicians of our entire history as a nation. And she sabotaged her own clear path to the White House by insulting, fainting, bitching, snickering, and behaving like an all around erratic lunatic to the point at which any sympathetic shred of confidence the American people had in her leadership was beaten to the ground like Paul Krugman under the diminutive weight of a Filipino lady-boy…according to my own closed-door assessment.

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