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Streep, Gosling and Sessions: 2017 is Up and Running

There is nothing better than protesters dressed like Klansmen being dragged out of a government building by a black police officer. Soak it in. 2017 is off to a fantastic start.

The protest occurred at the Senate Judiciary Hearing on the appointment of Attorney General Nominee Jeff Sessionsno doubt a politically polarizing figure for many groups. By far the most illogical attack on his character is the idea that Sessions is somehow supported by the KKK; and thus you’ve got these horseshit protesters posing as Klansman Cheerleaders.

Beside these hilariously over-privileged ass-clowns are CodePink protesters for gay rights, a topic that was presumably over and done with years ago.

2017 is going to be non-stop winning. I can feel it in my balls. Especially when literally everyone on social media reacts to every news story they can’t be bothered to read anything about like this:


“Considering going back on meds.” You should have never been off them, dopey. Jesus fucking christ…Anyway, let’s get into the Golden Globes for a sec…

Next up, we’ve got, perhaps the most innocuous and saccharine moment from Sunday night’s Golden Globes featuring Ryan Gosling accepting the award for his performance in the Hollywood-celebrating-Hollywood musical, La La Land. If you want to keep your lunch down, fast forward through Amy Schumer’s cringe-potato introduction.

Gosling took the time to thank his wife, Eva Mendes, for the insane sacrifices she’s made as a wife, a mother, and an expecting mother; as well as the enormous hardships she’s going through with her family, helping her brother through cancer.

But leave it to the insufferable cocksuckers at the Indepedent to find something deeply sinister about these comments, as if Gosling is keeping Mendes as his pregnant stationary Queen Bee, locked away at home with the drones so he can further his career as a sad-eyed leading man.

The lovely actress voiced her adoration for the moment on Instagram, subtly captioning a photo of the couple on the red carpet as “obviously not (her) favorite moment of the night.”

And finally, we have the moment everybody’s talking about, the not-so-subtly cringe speech given by a clearly-dying Meryl Streep. In possibly the worst acting job of her career, Streep decided to victimize everyone in the room at the expense of God Emperor Trump. While she never mentioned him by name, she proceeded to brazenly hijack Hugh Laurie‘s well-placed joke about “Hollywood”, “Foreign”, and “Press” being dirty words right now, claim that celebrities and superstars were the real victims of the Trump Administration (that hasn’t yet started), passionately condescend to the vast majority of American sports-fans, patronizingly highlight the importance of Movies and Television over all other arts, and reignite the flames of intellectual dishonesty over the 2015 supposed mocking of a New York Times reporter’s tiny T-Rex arm.

When she angrily refuted a claim made by no-one ever that mixed martial arts is not part of “the arts”; when she asserted that an award-winning writer for one of America’s most powerful editorial rags “lacks the capacity to fight back” as if he’s mentally retarded, Streep cemented her place as an out-of-it old woman, desperately clinging to over a year worth of insufficient celebrity scare-tactics while Mel Gibson and Vince Vaughn looked on–as we all did–with eyes rolling back in their skulls.


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