Consumed By Classic Training Videos

1There are times when the internet consumes your existence and there is no turning back. It happened to me, and I am slowly breaking free from my own prison of fast food/retail training videos from the 80s/90s. No celebrities made me a video saying I will survive, eh, what are you going to do? Nothing, just keep watching and watching until your eyeballs hurt. What am I laughing at? The absurdity? How horrible I feel for those poor souls who sat in a back room watching these on their first day? Prepare to get flushed down the toilet that is this side of YouTube! Here are some of the training videos I couldn’t look away from:

It all began with this 1990 Blockbuster sales video where we are introduced to Buster Sales who is going to show us the way. By show us the way, I mean he is a total creep! I think he died a few years ago by a killer named, Red Bachs. 

Dave Thomas is a fucking pimp saying his hamburgers are the “best in the bidness”, and a magical black man shows us how to cook burgers with a rap! Grill Skills finished up with various Wendy’s crews flexing, singing, and playing guitar on a spatula! 

Wendy’s at it again… hot drinks left me speechless.. 

……and cold drinks.

‘Member Woolworth’s?!?!?! Meet Dick Deal, a professional shoplifter! 

Keep throwing it back with some training from Funcoland, the store that said it was friendly to kids, yet kicked me out after 5 minutes of being in there without a parent. Fuck you Funcoland. 

Michael McJackson shows us how to “Clean It” 

Nintendo reminds us that all customers are absolute morons 

The 21st century seems to have figured it all out. Burger King started selling hot dogs and used a Grilled Dogs Training Ambassador, Snoop Dogg! 

I think I’m going to make it after all and good luck if you choose to watch all of these and more. Let me know what you think on twitter @JoeyHaHas.

Z

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