Arts, Comedy, Fun Stuff, Hot News, Irrationality, Mistakes, News

I’d Like to Buy the World a Pepsi

In the latest example of “dipshit social justice grandstanding” the bewildered and misguided Left have managed to get Pepsi (the sugar-water you get when the restaurant doesn’t have Coke-brand sugar-water) to pull their latest long-form advertisement from the Interwebz.

The ad, to anyone with a fucking brain in their skull, mimics the sentiment of the classic-but-cringe 1971 Coca Cola “I’d Like to Buy the World a Coke” ad campaign; albeit with much more heavy-handed gravitas.

It’s difficult to fully grasp the nature and purpose of the outrage over the Pepsi ad campaign, but when have these pink-haired cultists ever made any logical sense before?

If you’d like a brief overview of why your barely literate Facebook friends are so faux-furious over this campaign, it’s because of rationales like this:

In the ad, Kendall Jenner is doing a modeling gig while the rest of the “we don’t remember a world without Internet” generation marches and rallies in some non-disclosed resistance. Then, she realizes she’s done modelling (she’s got plenty of money anyway) and rushes off to voice her opinion with the rest of the musicians, drum-beaters, and self-taking teens.

In the end, Kendall offers a symbol of commercial togetherness by handing a police officer a can of Pepsi, and like a flower in a gun, or a black man with a mission to hug, everyone smiles and appreciates the gesture as one of peace.

But, as we all know, this aggression can not stand; and people need to feign moral outrage at the comparisons to actual Black Lives Matter protests and (for some reason) Martin Luther King, Jr. When, in reality, if this commercial campaign gets just one person to buy a can of Pepsi, it’s already accomplished far more temporary pleasure than Black Lives Matter could ever dream.

But, we’ll chalk this up as another hollow victory for the Fun Police and wait with bated breath for Kendall Jenner‘s unremarkable, unnecessary, and ultimately predictable apology for her “mistake”: taking a gig in a soda commercial that accurately reflects the collective culture and mentality of today’s American protest culture, the heroes of their own delusional fantasies, hilariously shot 2 months ago in Bangkok, Thailand.


(Side Note: I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before, but has anyone noticed when videos like the above In The Now clip get passed around, they always contain the full script in the Description? Not only do they want you to watch this nonsense, but they expect you to read and repeat their blithering bullshit as rote-memorization. Sick. Sick and sad.)

2 thoughts on “I’d Like to Buy the World a Pepsi”

  1. You’re a disgusting individual. You don’t understand your privilege, refuse to accept it is real, and make stupid comments like the “dipshit social justice grandstanding.” I’d hope you learn from your actions, but you haven’t in years and never will. Go live in another country for a few years as a minority and see the privilege you have and learn to accept your responsibility in society towards helping others.

  2. Hey Justice.
    Thanks for reading.
    I recommend you accept your privilege and stop comparing your luxury of rights and freedoms to people in countries who don’t give a fuck about you or I or anyone like us. Many individuals would kill or die for the possibility of their children to grow up the way we did, even if we’re poor, we’re still free.
    Stop telling people to check their privilege and embrace yours.
    You’re grandstanding for no one.

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