Obligatory Ranking of ‘Black Mirror’ Episodes from OK to OMG

As I’d mentioned in a previous article, Black Mirror–the so-far 13-episode long cinematic series on Channel 4 and Netflix respectively–has quickly became a favorite of mine due to its thematic elements, style, and ability to fuck my shit up royally for a few days at a time.

Everyone who reviews this show, aside from insisting that it is the “modern day Twilight Zone” without obviously ever watching an episode of The Twilight Zone, feels the obligation to break it down to its intricate parts and put them in order of subjective quality. It’s sometimes wrongly arranged in a worst-to-best…and more accurately, a list of good-to-great. But I think all of those lists are wrong, so I’ll do an OK-to-OMG because it’s quirky, and that’s what you animals seem to like.

I could go on for hours about all of these episodes, but I’ll try to keep my reasoning and opinions to a non-spoilery minimum. So, without further adieu…all current episodes of Black Mirror ranked from OK to ERMERGERD!!!!!

Nosedive–Series 3, Ep. 1


For many clicking on Netflix and checking out the series everyone seems to be talking about, this will be the first episode they watch. For whatever reason, Netflix wants you to watch their episode 1 before the real episode 1. And that’s a shame. Nosedive isn’t the worst thing in the world, but it’s a poor introduction to the series, and a poor all-around episode of the show. The main protagonist, played by Bryce Dallas Howard, is vapid and forced. The environment she exists in has stakes to be sure, but not dire stakes, and not stakes which should matter to anyone but her. The only real male character in the episode seems to be the only voice of reason until a wise old lady ‘Morpheus’ arrives and gives Howard the choice between the red or blue thermos.

Written partially by Rashida Jones and directed by the guy who made the movie PANNosedive is an insult to fans and a forced Americanization of a show that didn’t need to be dumbed down.

San Junipero–Series 3, Ep. 4


Another episode from Series 3, we start to see a theme developing here. The director of a better episode from Series 2 (Be Right Back) returns for another shot at “romance” in Black MirrorWhere the aforementioned episode was dark and emotionally taxing, San Junipero is slow, convoluted, and plays more effectively into the hands of the weird “member berries” social justice Notebook-loving millennial crowd than anyone else. It’s literally jam-packed with 80’s jams, it’s about interracial lesbians traveling through time, and ends with both of them living happily ever after with zero reason they ever should have. This saccharine follow up to the dark and twisted Ep. 3-3 seemed like another clear example of “Americans need a break and can’t be pounded with darkness like us Brits” which could be a false interpretation of their methodology, but it certainly seemed condescending right after realizing from Season 3, Episodes 2 and 3, that they could easily get back on form if they wanted to. At the risk of being too spoiler-heavy…

…There’s no reason whatsoever why Gugu Mbatha-Raws character decides to spend her afterlife with Mackenzie Davis character. They fucked twice, got married, and Mbatha-Raw regretted every second of it. Enough to attempt suicide. Then everything’s wonderful again? Ridiculous. Sorry…it’s just fucking insane.

Hated in the Nation–Series 3, Ep. 6


This is where it starts to get tricky, because–frankly–every other episode of Black Mirror is great. But I said I’d rank them, so that’s what I’m going to fucking do. Hated in the Nation was the episode that finished out the new Netflix series and it was packed with talented actors who could really sell it as a Hitchcock-style nature-meets-technology thriller. This episode could easily be titled The Bees and it would work as a chilling Hitchcock rip-off. But the real underlying themes were moral punishment and social media discourse, which wrapped up the diverse and intellectually interesting series pretty well. The episode wasn’t phenomenal, but it was able to generate a sense of shock and urgency that almost made it more comparable to a Stephen King story than an episode of Black Mirror.

White Bear–Series 2, Ep. 2


Series 2 gets a little odd. The captivating insanity of Series 1 gets ramped up a bit to episodes that, while still fully functional, become a bit heavy on the side of absurd. White Bear winds up being one of the few episodes that I would actually compare to The Twilight Zone as it leaves the viewer with more questions than answers until the last few moments where the twist appears. Twists are all well and good, but it’s one of the elements that made The Twilight Zone get a little stale, and also any re-interpretation or reboot of the show kinda fall flat. White Bear exists in the center of a series that relies on revelations and exposition and not “twists.” But the occasional twist ending, if unexpected, works. The only reason I rank this episode fairly low is that the twist doesn’t seem practical or believable to me. The “revelation” we’re given at the end is a dystopian enforcement that doesn’t seem to have any value or merit beyond “wouldn’t it be weird if that’s how the world worked?” And Black Mirror can do better.

Men Against Fire–Series 3, Ep. 5


Another example in the genre-based jumble that was Series 3 of Black MirrorMen Against Fire is a war story.directed by Jakob Verbruggen. If I didn’t know better, I would have though that it was at least written or conceived by Rick Yancey, author of the book series The 5th Wave…which spawned an unsuccessful film franchise of the same name. As far as young-adult sci-fi, it wasn’t bad. It wasn’t good; but it wasn’t bad. But as far as the plot of an episode of Black Mirror is concerned, I think there are better concepts to borrow from. There is always the chance that I’m wrong and no one involved in the production of this episode has ever even heard of the American teen-dystopian novel or movie The 5th Wave. But if that’s true, it would be one hell of a coincidence. Another twist ending episode, as if I had to explain that.

Playtest–Series 3, Ep. 2


I couldn’t help shake the similarities between the lead actor in this episode and Kurt Russell. He had all of Russell’s mannerisms, a striking resemblance, and just seemed to fit the role in the exact same way as a young Kurt Russell. Weird, I thought. Then I realized that the lead actor is Wyatt Russell, the former-hockey playing son of Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn…and all of my odd suspicions were suddenly made much less vexing. In the third series which is largely genre-based for the anthology series, Black Mirror takes on horror. This is a slight departure, relying more on creepy effects and jump-scares than psychological self-examination. Until the end…when we get another twist! Oh boy! The saving grace this episode had was that it was different and interesting enough to carry the concept to completion, and left the whole affair with an ironic and sadistic joke.

The National Anthem–Series 1, Ep. 1


There is likely no better episode to start off this series than The National Anthem. It only really shares a a thematic quality with Shut Up and Dance, and otherwise stands alone as a weird and wholly disturbing vignette about the day the Prime Minister fucked a pig on television. Sorry–spoiler alert–the Prime Minister fucks a pig on TV. No twist, no turns, no sudden revelation right before the end. Just pure pig-fucking. Deal with it.

And that’s precisely what The National Anthem forces you to do. While the title of the series (Black Mirror) refers to computers and mobile devices specifically, this introductory episode truly lives up to the “mirror” analogy. The premiere holds a mirror to its audience, reflecting the citizens in the episode, anxiously awaiting the Prime Minister fucking a pig. The audience wants to see it, we kinda want to see it…and once we do, we immediately wish we hadn’t and try to forget what we’ve just seen. Gross episode. But one of the more effective in the series.

Be Right Back–Series 2, Ep. 1


Starring Hayley Atwell (Agent Carter) and Domhnall Gleeson (The Force Awakens), this episode seems to typically top most people’s lists of “bests.” And while it’s a fine episode, I can’t help but feel that American audiences valued the familiarity they have with the actors involved over the content of the episode itself. Be Right Back is a relationship drama that culminates in a theoretical think-piece about the implementation of social media and artificial intelligence, and what effects bringing back the dead would have on the psyche of your loved ones. It’s heavy enough without ever seeming heavy-handed; sad, well-constructed, and unsettling. The fact that the person who directed this episode also directed that awful San Junipero episode leaves a bad taste in my mouth, and the episode ends up feeling a little like Robin Williams’ Bicentennial Man.

The Waldo Moment–Series 2, Ep. 3


When this episode was released in 2013, it wasn’t the most well-received. Even Charlie Brooker, the show’s creator, admitted that it missed almost every mark that it set out to hit. But watching it in 2016, juxtaposed to possibly the weirdest presidential election in recent history, The Waldo Moment becomes a masterpiece of political satire. The premise of the episode sounds a bit absurd, even for Black Mirror: a company decides to run a foul-mouthed blue bear cartoon character for office…and the man who provides the voice of the bear gets caught up in the vitriol. Perhaps if elements of this episode didn’t become a reality in the United States, I would rank this episode a bit lower–but it’s a lot of fun and captures the zeitgeist with accidental perfection. But it’s not all fun, it also gets into the psyche of a man with no business in the political world falling apart at the seams, despite his honesty and popularity, and seeing the people he’s destroying in his wake.

Shut Up and Dance–Series 3, Ep. 3


Undoubtedly and unarguably the best episode of Series 3. Anyone who says it isn’t (and there are plenty) are lying to you and to themselves. This episode does not relent and will not let you rest, it’s chilling and dramatic from start to finish and truly relies on no elements of sci-fi tech or futurism. This could easily be (and unquestionably is) going on all over the world right now…as we speak. Which makes it unique in that it’s not “the horrors that await our technology addictions” as much of the series is, but “look around. We’re living this now.” Of course, the episode is over-the-top and extreme in scope and scenarios, but it works so well. And even though I thought I was off the roller coaster when the episode ended, it stuck with me, and I can’t shake it. Much like my top 2 favorites.

White Christmas–Series 2, Ep. 4 (Christmas Special)


The Christmas Special is difficult to place, as it almost functions as Black Mirror: The Movie, highlighting almost every theme the series has delved into by the end of the 2nd series. It stars the incomparable Jon Hamm (Mad Men) and Rafe Spall (Shaun of the Dead). It’s a twisty-turny collection of shorter vignettes as told by two men inexplicably trapped at a snowed-in outpost on Christmas. Jon Hamm starts talking about his life and his work in dating help and breaking the spirit of personal assistants. Then Rafe talks about his fight to find his long-lost daughter. There is a huge turning point and everything ends in tragedy…which is par for the course in Black Mirror World. If you only ever watch ONE episode of the show, this may be the one I’d recommend. It’s got it all.

Fifteen Million Merits–Series 1, Ep. 2


The next two episodes I advise to approach with caution, as they will inevitably fuck your day up. Fifteen Million Merits is deceptive in its use of bright colors and digital silliness. The main character exists in a digital world that revolves around accomplishing and consuming digital tasks. It seems rather stereotypical and contrived until you realize that it really has nothing to do with the environment at all. It’s a character piece, and a romance, and a tragedy. I can’t go into too much without completely ruining the nature of the human interactions, the tie-in to Britain’s Got Talent-type reality shows, and possibly the most heartbreaking recreation of The Gift of the Magi by O. Henry ever told.

The Entire History of You–Series 1, Ep. 3


I made the mistake of watching this episode in bed at night, and cost myself almost an entire night of sleep. The episode stars Toby Kebbell of the failed Ben-Hur remake…and the failed Fantastic Four reboot…and the possibly abandoned RocknRolla sequel…and is the only episode that was optioned for a potential film version to be made; specifically by Robert Downey Jr.’s Team Downey production company (which sounds more like a Down Syndrome Charity than a production company, but who am I to judge?). Unless they stretch the concept out considerably, I can’t imagine this working as a movie, but I’m sure they’re only interested in the principle: an implant that enables users to rewind, replay, review, or delete memories from your brain database. Like all of the best episodes of Black Mirror, they take a high concept and put it into a story that could almost just as easily be told without it. This is the story of a married couple having their worlds fall apart, and it’s absolutely devastating. Don’t make the mistake I did and watch it before bed. But despite being utterly heartbreaking, it is, in my opinion, the best episode in the entire series thus far. Perhaps one day they’ll get back to this high point. Only time will tell!



The SuperDPS Guide to Life

From the beginning of time, the mentally unstable have turned healthy skepticism and questioning authority into a madhouse of unpredictable, unprovable, and unimaginably nonsensical theories.
The eternal unanswerable question is “Why?” Why would the government fake a moon landing, house alien life forms, cover up the paranormal, or orchestrate a terrorist attack? The reason we don’t know “why,” is simple: because it’s not true. (READ MORE)


GUIDE TO SEXY (ft. Tara Lynn Foxx)
I was sitting on the Southwest Airplane, going to San Francisco to shoot some awesome porn, when I decided to write this list on a barf bag! I didn’t have anything else to write on so I said fuck it; at least it makes a great picture! ;)

A few months back, Alex wrote a Guide to Un-Sexy… I thought it was pretty good…. So I am going to be a copy cat and make my own Guide! Now that you know what to steer clear of… I want you to know what is really sexy! No whale-tails are not sexy… but a cute set of matching bra and panties are! For the girls who need some advice to the guys that need help in the sack… I am here to help! (READ MORE)


There’s a political schism in this country that has been exported throughout the Western Worldthrough religion and an imaginary system of values which should never be part of global or national policy to begin with.

It seems only right that someone attempt to explain the points of view commonly associated with the Republican Party in a manner as backward and convoluted as humanly possible. (READ MORE)


Hopefully, we’ve all had a decent-enough education to know that at one point in American History, the consumption and sale of alcohol was strictly prohibited by the United States government. Fortunately, this occurred at a time in History when our government could learn from their mistakes and push “we fucked up” initiatives after stupid decisions had cost the lives of many citizens and made the bad guys more powerful. (READ MORE)



As we are all no doubt aware, society–more specifically, modern western progressive society–has become more concerned with freedom from religion than freedom of religion. Every religious group believes in essentially the same bullshit, but where they differ from the sects of their neighbors, they define themselves as wholly separate entities.

Throughout history, the frightened and bewildered have distanced themselves from religious “crazies” by establishing their own backwards faiths, and that’s why we have so goddamn many. (READ MORE)


Race has certainly become a hot-button issue once again. Along with stereotypes and common prejudices, there are many ways by which people of various races and creeds can be misunderstood and misconstrued. It is important to learn the facts about a background in order to better understand a people; however, history–like individuals–can often be severely misinterpreted. And this is why I bring you: Shit you didn’t know about the Slavery! (READ MORE)


Allow me to begin with a bit of unconventional news. It was a typical Friday night at a Karaoke Bar in Stamford, Connecticut when shit went south. When a 25-year old girl started singing a Juanes song, 6 bitches got hostile. First, the shouting and booing escalated…which is understandable. Then, these 6 women viciously attacked the singer–punching, kicking, chipping teeth and pulling hair. The woman wasn’t significantly injured, but judging by the mugshots, the 6 attackers were hit by a fucking bus. (READ MORE)


There are a seemingly countless amount of filthy terms and phrases out there. Some, we use every day. Others tend to be cringe-worthy and unmentionable in certain circles. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being offensive, politically incorrect, or verbally abrasive, but you must understand that some phrases carry more weight than others. (READ MORE)


The truth is that in the hands of the wrong people, something with convoluted sexuality (like “sexting”) may have the potential to be dangerous. But for the harmless, law-abiding, sexual creature, whatever doesn’t fuck you can only make you harder. This is a guide to those elements of sexuality and weirdness that put one over that thin red line that divides the objectively kinky from the universally creepy. (READ MORE)


Tara Lynn Foxx presents The Sailor Twift Guide to Sexy

I was sitting on the Southwest Airplane, going to San Francisco to shoot some awesome porn, when I decided to write this list on a barf bag! I didn’t have anything else to write on so I said fuck it; at least it makes a great picture! 😉

A few months back, Alex wrote a Guide to Un-Sexy… I thought it was pretty good…. So I am going to be a copy cat and make my own Guide! Now that you know what to steer clear of… I want you to know what is really sexy! No whale-tails are not sexy… but a cute set of matching bra and panties are! For the girls who need some advice to the guys that need help in the sack… I am here to help!

Angelina Jolie: This woman is so exotic and gorgeous and I don’t know anyone who can disagree with that fact. Based just on her looks, she is a 10; then when you take into consideration all the help she had given to children around the world… she is definitely a keeper in my book. She is the only woman I know who can go from shooting an action packed movie like Tomb Raider to being the hottest MILF around!

(Runners up: Athletes, Australians, Acrobatics)

Boy Shorts: There is something about boy shorts that make me wanna masturbate in a public bathroom! JK! All jokes aside… I love the look of a juicy booty in a pair of super cute Spider-Man boy shorts. They are sexy, yet cute, and not slutty, like thongs 🙂

(Runners up: Brazilians, Bull-Dikes, Black men)





Confidence: When a man or woman has confidence it is a huge turn on! Us women like men that are courageous and have that manly attitude. I like a man who has confidence… it means to me that he will be successful at whatever he does! I need a man who knows he is worth something… a man who lacks confidence is worthless.

(Runners up: California, Comedians, Condoms)

Dave Grohl: I was on a plane when I figured out who Mr. Grohl was! Steve Almond wrote a great article about him and I hope you all can read it one day! It’s from his book Rock and Roll Will Save Your Life. Grohl was the drummer for Nirvana. When they split, he created Foo Fighters and is the front man and songwriter for them. In the article, Almond shows his human side; the man who takes care of his family and stays loyal. After all of the rock and roll groupies and drugs and drama, he stuck with his family and that is the sexiest part about this man.

(Runners up: Depilation, DWA, daddy-type)

Exhibitionism: also known as flashing, is behavior by a person that involves the exposure of private parts of their body to another person in a situation when they would not normally be exposed, with a tendency toward the extravagant. It is sexy to me and turns me on when I watch the execution of a sexual act 😉

(Runners up: Exfoliation, Education, Erections)

Foreplay: There is nothing hotter than a man who loves to please! I LOVE foreplay. I think it leads up to the sex in such a beneficial way for both parties. If the playing around before the big show is fun then you know you are going to have the best orgasm. Foreplay also gives you different insight into a guy–how playful he gets. If he gets creative or outgoing, then he is a good partner. If he always wants to skip the playtime and go straight to the sex… well he is UNSEXY and won’t last long with me.

(Runners up: Fisting, Fantasy Football, Fudge)

Geeks: I have love for the nerds, jocks, Goths, queers, and preps… but I LOVE GEEKS! If it weren’t for them I wouldn’t have discovered my love for science, or graduated high school. Another thing I can thank them for is this dream I continue to have about banging the fuck out of this really cute Matt Damon crossed with Seth Rogen Geek fantasy boy. These days, if you don’t have a pair of Ray Bans… you are not SEXY!

(Runners up: Glasses, Gynecologists, Google)

Hybrids: I am sexy right? That is because for my first new car… I bought a hybrid. What is more attractive than a man or woman showing that they care about the environment!? Not only do the people who drive hybrids have more money in their pockets… but they are usually pretty interesting characters.

(Runners up: Harry Potter, Hair Gel, Hot days)

Isis Love: I have never met anyone sexier than this woman right here. Yeah, she has huge boobs and a tiny waist, but that is not what makes her so damn attractive to me. It’s her Dominatrix work that she does for KINK.com, and the way she cares about people. I think she is so damn sexy that, if I could, I would kidnap her and marry her ass! She is the sweetest girl I have met in this business and that’s what makes her sexy!

(Runners up: Ice Cream, Indoor Sports, Inclusive Hookers!)

Jogging: Come on! Do I really have to write anything about this one?…just picture this with me for a second. Close your eyes. Imagine you are sitting on a park bench on a nice summer day. The birds are chirping and you feel great. You look around to see all these beautiful people playing sports and jogging around the lake… you realize a lot of these people are gorgeous women with nothing but their tight bodies and spandex gear on! ‘nuff said!

(Runners up: Jewelry, James Deen, Jocks)

Koprolagnia: This is where my twisted side shows a little. This term basically means that I get sexual gratification by performing disgusting acts of self humiliation. I think it is sexy when you discover what turns you on… even if it is the strangest thing in the world!

(Runners up: Kegels, Klondike Bars, Kodak Porn)

Lipstick Lesbians: The first time I knew that I was bi-sexual was when a lipstick lesbian kissed me and had her way with me in her bedroom. Granted I was only 10, but I still knew I liked girls. As I got older, I found myself attracted to beautiful women who were like me but had that lesbian vibe to them a little more. They still wear makeup, cute girly clothes… but they are only attracted to women. There is nothing more SEXY than two gorgeous women making out in a public place.

(Runners up: Lindsay Lohan, Lactaid, Loot)

Motorcycles: Since the age of five I have loved Harley Davidsons. They are just so damn sexy with the sound of the engine starting up to the hairy, tatted up biker guy sitting on it! I can’t wait until the day I own one… until then I will settle with looking at magazines of hot girls posing on them. Who knows? I might even do a photo set myself! 🙂

(Runners up: Mud Wrestling, MILFs, Margaritas)

Nullipara: This is a term to describe women that have never had children. Yes MILFs are hot… but me personally… I like when the vagina I will be licking hasn’t already pushed a human out of it… there is just something sexy about a semi-virgin pussy… 🙂

(Runners up: Nasty Talk, Nick at Nite, Noses)

Osculation: Like I said earlier: I love foreplay. The one thing I love more than that is kissing! I love the way soft, full lips feel pressed against mine. It is even sexier when I get to watch other people kiss. It is just so passionate and romantic.

(Runners up: Oily Butts, Ownership, Overnighters)

Personal Hygiene: I don’t know how many times I have gone on set to find a guy that either has bad B.O. or his cock smells like he just fucked a whole strip club. GUYS! WHEN YOU WANT TO COME OFF AS SEXY TO ANOTHER PERSON… WASH YOUR PITS AND YOUR PRIVATE PARTS! Please! When I smell a man that smells fresh and he has some good cologne on… oooo boy!

(Runners up: Porn Stars, Personal Trainers, Pedicures)

Queer: Honestly… sometimes I wish I was a queer boy. They are so sexy that it makes me hot thinking about them. The way they dress to the way that they care about how they look! I love when people are outgoing and don’t give a fuck what people will say to them. I have found in my life that a good best friend is semi-queer…. in my eyes that makes them good enough to be on my list of sexy!

(Runners up: Queens, Quagmire, Quails)

Reproductive Freedom: For years and years women have been forced to act a certain way and obey the orders of their husbands. Now women are free to choose if they want to keep their baby or not. They also get to choose if they want to have kids at all! I think it’s very attractive when a woman can make decisions for herself. Once the stigma around certain things women can do is erased, I think the idea of reproductive freedom could be a very sexy topic!

(Runners up: Race Car Drivers, Regular HIV testing, Rachel McAdams)

Sarah Palin: I think the only reason she popped into my head was the porno they made about her. I mean seriously… if you are a politician you shouldn’t be sexy… but this broad is a grandmother on top of that! I love how she comes off as a total cunt… she is still sexy to me!

(Runners up: Stoners, Sun Sets, Stockings)

Tara Lynn Foxx: I know I know! I am full of myself! I have good reason to though! I do porn and love every second of it! I have amazing deep throating skills and I can cook. If I am on the rag I give BJs to make up for it! And ummm…. Oh ya I made you laugh once or twice… to me, I would say I am sexy!

(Runners up: Tattoos, Tom Boys, Testing Monthly)

Uniforms: There is something about them that makes me want to sexually attack anyone wearing one. I think it’s the picture of power that they serve. It doesn’t matter if it’s a girl at a catholic school or a fireman putting out the fire he started in my heart… tee hee! Uniforms equal a definite quickie for me! 🙂

(Runners up: Underwear, UV lights, Underground hip hop)

Vincilangia: Obviously, this had to be on my list. This basically means sexual arousal from bondage; the desire to possess women rendered helpless by fetters, such as ropes, tape or chains. The look and feel of it is so powerful and erotic it had to be on this list!!!

(Runners up: Violets, Variety, Violins)

Wank-Pit: This is a British term for masturbation. If you think this should not be on this list–think again! I get very turned on by the idea of men and women playing with their sacred private parts to give them pleasure while they watch my movies.

(Runners up: White Teeth, Women, Working Girls)

Xenerotica: This is the condition I have! LOL…It basically means having sexual attractions to strangers… However, I think my condition is beyond repair. I love to fantasize about people I have never met that sit next to me on the plane, or waiting in line at the grocery store… I love stranger danger.

(Runners up: x-rated, x-sex, xassafrassed)

Yaffle: I love when a girl has a cock in her mouth! There is not much sexier than a good BJ! I mean, come on you didn’t know that’s what “yaffle” meant! LOL

(Runners up: Yes- Girl, Yodeler, Yo-Yo)

Zoftig: Pleasantly plump women are very fun if you make them feel beautiful and tell them how much you love their figure. There is a difference between too fat and thick… Remember that. Zoftigs are really sexy because they have more to them than just skin and bone. A woman with curves is what gets me going.

(Runers up: Zorber, Zoob, Zeppelins)

Tara Lynn Foxx

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