Consumed By Classic Training Videos

1There are times when the internet consumes your existence and there is no turning back. It happened to me, and I am slowly breaking free from my own prison of fast food/retail training videos from the 80s/90s. No celebrities made me a video saying I will survive, eh, what are you going to do? Nothing, just keep watching and watching until your eyeballs hurt. What am I laughing at? The absurdity? How horrible I feel for those poor souls who sat in a back room watching these on their first day? Prepare to get flushed down the toilet that is this side of YouTube! Here are some of the training videos I couldn’t look away from:

It all began with this 1990 Blockbuster sales video where we are introduced to Buster Sales who is going to show us the way. By show us the way, I mean he is a total creep! I think he died a few years ago by a killer named, Red Bachs. 

Dave Thomas is a fucking pimp saying his hamburgers are the “best in the bidness”, and a magical black man shows us how to cook burgers with a rap! Grill Skills finished up with various Wendy’s crews flexing, singing, and playing guitar on a spatula! 

Wendy’s at it again… hot drinks left me speechless.. 

……and cold drinks.

‘Member Woolworth’s?!?!?! Meet Dick Deal, a professional shoplifter! 

Keep throwing it back with some training from Funcoland, the store that said it was friendly to kids, yet kicked me out after 5 minutes of being in there without a parent. Fuck you Funcoland. 

Michael McJackson shows us how to “Clean It” 

Nintendo reminds us that all customers are absolute morons 

The 21st century seems to have figured it all out. Burger King started selling hot dogs and used a Grilled Dogs Training Ambassador, Snoop Dogg! 

I think I’m going to make it after all and good luck if you choose to watch all of these and more. Let me know what you think on twitter @JoeyHaHas.

Z

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Talking Nerdy, Ep. 222: Stranger Things & Where to Find Them

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Dan lets the WWE Championship Belt go to his head / Jill Stein makes the transition to harmless crazy person into desperate thief / Donald Trump is punk rock / Joe begins his long trek into the world of Fantastic Beasts & Where to Find Them / Playing GTAV with Tommy / Diving into what we now know for sure about Star Wars: Rogue One / Virtual Reality causes real-world dipshits to lash out / CWC Wars, Episode I: The Megan Saga / My all-time favorite TommyNC2010 moment / TheReportOfTheWeek enlightens us about the new menu at McDonald’s / A Special Death of Fidel edition of Jose-Can-Say-So!

DOWNLOAD THE LATEST EPISODE HERE!!

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–Follow today’s crew:  @NerdyPodcast ,  @Dan_SuperDPS, & @JoeyHAHAs

Friday Goob News! 9/30/16

What’s good, Tommy-Heads?! Your boy is at it again. This week his videos went dark. And it’s the first time I’ve ever seen him actually delete one of his uploads. For a behind the music on TommyNC2010, head on back to the first Goob News or listen to Talking Nerdyour weekly podcast where Tommy becomes a key player. Tommy and his sometimes-buddy Hamza went out and about this week, visiting the Anime Convention (above) and a local freak-out basement rock show, Circus of Insanity (below). Both are genuine crowd-pleasers, especially when Tommy dons the Joker make-up (IN BOTH VIDEOS) and starts some shit. But there is much more to this story that we’re not seeing…

The first video comes on the heels of what we’ll refer to henceforth as “Movie Night-Gate” which I wish I could show you all, but it’s been deleted. And here’s why…

Tommy’s been hanging out with two new friends recently, Ashley and JerrodAnd he’s been a little bitchy around Jerrod, while a little too schmoozy around Ashley. Keeping these facts in mind, let’s get to the video. Tommy invited all of his friends over for a big Movie Night, and by the end he was visibly angry. Why?

1Well, evidently, at some point during the movie, Jerrod and Ashley disappeared for over an hour to go pick up “pizza.” This had Tommy distraught, asking his audience “do you guys think it takes an hour to get pizza?!?!” Shocking stuff. This was the biggest development in the Tommy-Universe in weeks, and the next thing I knew…the video was gone. But it doesn’t end there.

At one point during the Anime Convention video, Tommy very sternly yells at Hamza to “edit that out!” This is purely speculative, but I get the impression that Hamza made the mistake of mentioning Movie Night-Gate, invoking the pinnacle of Tommy’s autistic rage.

Another little nugget of Whatthefuckery happened in the middle of the Circus of Insanity video where Tommy repeatedly tries to flirt with a girl named Krystle. Seems like a pretty rad chick–especially when Tommy brings up their drunk night together. Tommy tries to pressure her to say that he was only pretending to be drunk, and she is having none of it, clearly disgusted by his behavior. I desperately needed to get to the bottom of this…and so I searched for, and found…the evidence.

And that does it for this week’s Goober News. I know it’s been a little Tommy-heavy lately, but, seriously, this is the biggest and best news I can imagine. If you’d like a little addendum, TheReportoftheWeek discovered that there are a very select few McDonald’s restaurants that sell pizza.

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