PHILADELPHIA–The Free Library of Phila in Andorra is set to host new pro-safe injection site children’s musical group, The Junkees!
After “Drag Queen Storytime” and the less-popular “How Many Fingers: A Children’s Guide to Handjobs” the Free Library of Philadelphia has decided to take a chance on a brand new musical act promoting so-called “Safe” Injection sites for Heroin addicts throughout the city.
The Andorra Free Library just outside the Roxborough section of Philadelphia will host “The Junkees” this Summer 2019, singing some of their most celebrated hits like “He’s Not a Zombie if He’s Alive!” and “1-2-3 Tie Me Off!”
PHILADELPHIA–Public elementary school in the Wissahickon section of Philadelphia brands their weed-infested lot as a “meadow,” Neighbors claim.
While the excuse given seems to be that the overgrown and underserved corner lot, slowly overtaking the school’s sign, is a beautiful garden and haven for local wildlife, the reality of the situation is that the weeds have become too unruly for volunteers to maintain, so the excuses have become dominant.
Several locals have pointed out that if this type of overgrowth was on private property as opposed to public grounds, it would be fined and condemned by the city; however, other neighbors take pride in the manifestation of liberal pride in the slow degradation of city property.
When questioned about the state of the school, one anonymous Roxborough/Wissahickon local said, “When the landscape begins to look abandoned, people begin to vandalize the playground, and then it becomes a breeding ground for crime. It’s really only a matter of time unless something is done soon. But I’m not holding my breath.”
The most common excuse used for the lack of property maintenance is that the unkempt grounds double as a science project for the students of the school; although many remain skeptical considering the school’s below-average ratings for literacy and math.
Perhaps the students should be able to read before they begin attempting to study the behavioral patterns of Finches and the inevitable hardships of dealing with Lyme Disease.
It’s #MemoDay! The FISA Memo has been released and panic ensues / President The Donald gives his first State of the Union address the the Left is in crisis mode / Throwin’ shoes in San Diego / Rose McGowan lets loose on a Transgender fella / Philly City Council create a rap video / Cuck News Network advocates for straight men to live a gay lifestyle / Burger King tries and fails to explain Net Neutrality / Scott Baio has papers / Black Panther takes over Black History Month / Philly CringeFest is in full swing / Revisiting Goob-Bumps with FoodGod and our new goober, GARY!